Trigger warning: mention of loss, mental health
Howdy RoseBuds!
It’s been an awfully long time since I’ve had the ability to be truly active as a musician or creator. Of course 2020 brought the loss of my performance and entertainment my career (along with many, many other creative earners). I’ve still produced online content, (and have produced albums worth of material that need to be published – someday I’ll get there…) but it just isn’t as fulfilling as pulling out the old guitar and singing from the depths of my soul to a mixed bowl of nuts; I genuinely miss my fans, friends, family and strangers who brought their energy and love to my performances.
In thinking of how to return to the stage in the near-ish future, there’s a lot to consider. After 2020 lockdowns, I began performing in a limited capacity, but a devastating miscarriage – which literally happened in the middle of a solo show on stage in white maternity shorts – sent me spiraling into a painful depression. I’m not sure how I was able to ‘get out of it,’ but I did, and I managed a few shows here and there before getting pregnant again. But you know that couldn’t be everything….
In addition to my career injury and my heart injury, I went for the trifecta and added bodily injury to the list. I badly hurt my ribs, presumably due to hauling and setting up my gear while pregnant (oops ๐ฌ), so I was forced to stop performing again through the rest of my pregnancy because the injury was only exacerbated by my growing belly and shifting ribs.
Thank goodness for Mr Rose who helped me keep it all together and provided very necessary financial consistency during these tumultuous years. After my son was born in February of 2023 I snuck in a few shows here and there, but the demands of raising an infant (who’s now toddler) have made it hard for me to figure out my path back. I absolutely love staying home with him, but the stage is once again calling my name…
“Swanny….Swanny….Swanny….” Am I ready? Are you ready? I’m not right this minute…but I’m certain it will be soon…and I hope you’ll be there to let me pour my heart out and entertain you when I am ready. I’ll also be available for hire for private events, so I’ll be looking to you all for those bookings, too!
Thanks for being the absolute BEST RoseBuds – I love and appreciate you all so much! This journey would be meaningless without you!
XOXO’S Love Swanny Rose ๐น




